Auditory Relief Bill
November 15, 2006
Auditory Relief Bill (2003)
TO CULTIVATE A MORE INTELLIGENT SOCIETY
BE IT ENACTED BY THE SENATE AND HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IN CONGRESS ASSEMBLED, THAT:
Whereas popular music in supermarkets may be regarded as vulgar to customers, and whereas the degenerative moral/psychological state of society is characterized by the manipulation of virtue by the entertainment industry that represents popular music, and whereas the subvert hijacking of the psychological process by the words used as ‘lyric’ to popular ‘music’ contributes to the depravity of the psyche, and whereas any voices that announces any News Events may be inaccurate, the United States hereby proscribes popular music and News from being heard in supermarkets.
SECTION 1: Supermarkets may play non-lyrical classical music or No music at all.
SECTION 2: Violators of this bill, i.e. supermarkets who refuse to follow the guidelines of this bill, shall be subject to an Auditory Relief Tax of $1,00,000 per song played. Revenues from this tax shall be used for the creation/maintenance of classical music programs for public schools.
SECTION 3: This bill will take effect 3o days from the date of passage.
